I'm going to get to the yoga but first, here's 2 of the 3 R's "Return and Reflection." So, lets talk about the move for a minute…. So, OBVI I'm excited to move to Philly. That's where I grew up, that's where my blood family is, friends I've known since birth, and some of my best memories. But here's the thing, as a Navy family you're taught that home is "wherever the Navy sends you." For the past 11 years that's worked. We've lived in 4 soon to be 5 states in the past 11 years and in each place I've made home. Somewhere along the way I realized that while Philly will always and forever be the place I grew up… it's no longer "home." That's how Navy families survive. When your family is hours and hours away, when you don't know anyone, when you're somewhere you would never choose to be, you suck it up and it becomes your home. So having lived like that for the past decade it's a little surreal and odd for me to be going "home." It makes me think of that scene in "Julie and Julia" where Julia Child is talking to her husband about where they would move to and she says "home, where's that?" That's how I feel sometimes. I have all kinds of thoughts and feelings about moving "home" none of which I care to tap into right now and I can't even entertain the idea of talking about leaving Virginia. I'm already starting to choke up… So let's get to the the 3rd R shall we….
REDEMPTION!!!!!!!!!!!! Months ago I wrote about having a mental breakdown in a class because I couldn't bend myself into a pretzel like the pregnant lady who was next to me. Remember that? Well, what you might not know about that experience I had is that I hadn't been back to that class since. I mean, duh, how could I? It was mortifying? I could NEVER show my face back there again. Wait for it, wait for it…. UNTIL LAST TUESDAY!!!!!!!!!! I did it! I (reluctantly with a lot of coaxing from my friend and one of my yoga mentors) forced myself to brave the big scary "Chris class" in the interest of overcoming fear and self doubt. I have to tell you….. IMHO I kicked that classes ass! (of course I mean in comparison to the last time I took it.) There were no tears, and I kept up, and even managed to land some pretty impressive "jump backs." Let me tell you, I haven't felt that amazing after a class in a loooooong time. In retrospect I realize that all that embarrassment and stubbornness was my own stupid ego. (I'm so sick of that little f'er!) I deprived myself of months of learning from an amazing instructor because I couldn't get over my own ridiculous head games. So this is a big victory for me.
In the midst of all the craziness I haven't been going to yoga as much as I would've like to. I'm still not back on my "regular" schedule, but what I can tell you is this. My mat welcomed me back with open arms and it was like I'd never left. That feeling, my friends is another "home" all together. When I'm on my mat I'm more aware, I concentrate better and let distraction go all at the same time. I focus on my breathing and my heart rate and nothing else in the world matters in those moments. And when I'm done, and I realize the amazing work I just did, I'm so thankful. I'm thankful for everything, time to do yoga, strong working limbs, anything and everything you can be thankful for I am, because in those brief moments on my mat nothing else matters. There's no stress, no worry, no sadness, no regret, just being present in the now knowing I will get where I need to be eventually. And that my friends, is good enough for me.
