A month or two ago I went to a class that changed me completely. It seemed like a normal class, like any other I take. I ended up setting my mat up next to a woman who was pregnant. Okay, first of all, I looked more pregnant then she did. Second of all, she was flinging limbs around like she was boneless. I wish I could say I watched her in awe and admiration, but I didn't. I watched her and fear, jealousy, and inadequacy washed over me like a wave. At one point, the instructor told us what to do, I looked at her, and started crying. "I can't do that" I said and I pointed at her. It was not a good yoga day. But here's the strange thing, in the beginning of the same class the instructor was guiding us through getting settled in and he taught me something I have used in every yoga class since. He said "if you're having trouble quieting your mind say the word 'let' on the inhale and 'go' on the exhale."

When I first started practicing, I had a really hard time understanding things that I thought were the most basic. "pause at the bottom of the breath" "breath into the dark places" "feel the feeling of being in a body." I know now that these are the most challenging things to do in yoga (and in life for that matter.) We are in our bodies everyday. We are alive, but how many of us really feel what it is to be in a body? To appreciate every breath we take, to take pleasure if we feel pain because it means we are alive? To walk with confidence and pride because we have the ability to stand on two feet. This is what it's about. Love yourself and "let go of anything that no longer serves you."
I had an amazing morning and I'm so excited I get to go to another class tonight. I've noticed a trend that after every class I usually have a question about form or how to perfect a pose. Today I have no questions. I'll get there.
As of right now, here's what I learned today. "When I run after what I think I want, my days are a furnace of stress and anxiety. If I sit in my own place of patience, what I need flows to me and without any pain. From this I understand that what I want also wants me, is looking for me, and attracting me. There is a great secret here for anyone who can grasp it." -Rumi.
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